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How do you get a dog to stop humping you?
Pick him up and suck his dick.

via: Anti Joke
Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed:

Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see...

via: Anti-Pickup Line
(Clarksons article regarding his daughters first car)
" I wanted something with 2000 airbags, I wanted a bouncy castle with wipers"

via: Clarksonisms

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