I always ask for help when masturbating.

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• thumb_up thumb_down +261

  I always ask for help when masturbating.

• thumb_up thumb_down +146

  Well, I watch animal movies while masturbating.. and my yoga instructor helps me.. Does that make it more effective?

• thumb_up thumb_down +139

  I need to go relieve some stress..... fapfapfapfapfapfapfap

• thumb_up thumb_down +139

  bet the guy who made the presentation was masterbating

• thumb_up thumb_down +128

  If I pet an animal while I masturbate, is it extra good?!

• thumb_up thumb_down +119

  If you have to ask for help to masturbate, it isn't masturbation.

• thumb_up thumb_down +111

  seems like dutch rudder to me

• thumb_up thumb_down +110

  i masturbate at the back of the bus

• thumb_up thumb_down +109

  try meditating and masterbating it almost as good as porn

• thumb_up thumb_down +106

  i like to 1st watch my movie (porn), take a walk (to the nearest truck stop), start petting my "animal", begin to breathe deeply, ask for help (usually by simply opening my trench coat, then end up masturbating, wash hands (maybe), then sleep for 9 hours in the stall ITS VERY REFRESHING

• thumb_up thumb_down +105

  i mastubate while taking a walk on pet that breathes deeply watching a movie

• thumb_up thumb_down +103

  "I need to release some stress...hmmm, oh I know! HELP! I NEED HELP! much better, ahh" (also, is this a giant sign? if not then whats that little man?

• thumb_up thumb_down +97

  It's not a giant sign. It's a powerpoint presentation

• thumb_up thumb_down +92

  Meh, I've seen worse excuses to masturbate. Let's go!

• thumb_up thumb_down +88

  Then what's the point of washing your hands?

• thumb_up thumb_down +82

  seems reasonable to me.

• thumb_up thumb_down +81

  Hey, dude, could you give me a hand here??

• thumb_up thumb_down +78

  does that last one mean 'ask for help' with masturbating or help with stress?

• thumb_up thumb_down +75

  I ask for help while I pet my animal, sometimes I watch a movie during, I breathe deeply and then probably take a nap afterwards... I handle stress.

• thumb_up thumb_down +73

  Whenever I ask for help masturbating the cops show up, which adds to my stress...

• thumb_up thumb_down +72

  i do a combination of the last two

• thumb_up thumb_down +62

  One day, my wife walked in on me while I was masturbating. I got her back though - the next day, I walked in on her while I was masturbating.

• thumb_up thumb_down +62

  Who dosnt masterbate when they take a walk?