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What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender?

Stupid.

via: Anti Joke
At a bar (another real life one):

Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can...

via: Anti-Pickup Line
The Ferrari 355 is like a quail’s egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts’ belly button.

via: Clarksonisms

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